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One Simple Way to Love Someone Well Through a Traumatic Season // Personal Post

There are so many words that I want to share on this space. So many lessons and highs and lows and everything in between from this season that will HOPEFULLY be deemed the worst season of our lives. Oh but wait.. the best season of our lives, too. Yeah it’s all just so complicated. I don’t have the time or mental capacity or emotional strength to share #allthethings from this season just quite yet but there is one thing I wanted to pop in and say.

There have been words that have stuck with me that were spoken at some point.. “I just didn’t know where to start with you guys.” Well isn’t that sobering. I can’t even say that I blame people for not knowing how to treat someone who just lost their father, gave birth to their first child, and had her husband loose a job opportunity that he was super passionate about and pretty confident was coming his way. It’s a mess of a trifecta. And I think a lot of people don’t know what to do with people who go through trauma so what happens is they don’t do anything at all. So it leaves me attempting to share what I have found to be helpful in loving people well through truama in hopes that you can be the light to the next person you know who goes through something that causes all to stop and think why.

It’s very simple.. Ask how you can help.

Get yours hands dirty and help.

You don’t even need to apologize for what has just happened. I know you mean well.. but it gets tiring thanking people for feeling sorry for my situation. A simple, “I would love to help you get through this season, what can I do to help?” is like putting a fresh gauze pad on an open wound.. so therapeutic and refreshing. And I might not even ask you to do anything! Because sometimes we don’t even know what would help. And sometimes there just aren’t things that will help. But what this does for someone who is in a hard season is shows them that you care about their world, you care about the pain they are experiencing, and they have a helping hand if they need it. If we do need something from you that will help we have the option. And if we don’t take advantage of it.. well then that’s their own darn fault. Asking “how are you doing it?” isn’t very helpful as we aren’t quite sure and don’t really have a choice. Well.. technically I do have a choice.. I could sit in my room and mope all day.. but then there would be creditors at my door, bills pilling in the mailbox, a 2 month old uncared for, 2 little girls needing childcare, brides and couples with no wedding or portrait images, and a husband who is left wounded and bleeding. So I choose to do it because that’s the woman God has created me to be and I won’t let Satan win this war. If I go down it’s because I fought with everything I had and God just allowed a different outcome than I would have hoped. I’m sure anyone who has experiences trauma would say the same. So there it is plain and simple. Just the way I like it.

I appreciate those who have climbed in the boat with us during this season. Words of encouragement, prayers, food, child care.. we’re still afloat because of all of it. I want to encourage you today get inside someones world by picking up an oar paddling… you might just be the life saver that prevents their ship from sinking. What a beautiful way to share Jesus with the world… and so much more helpful then whining about a plain red cup. Sorry I had to.

Happy Friday y’all!     

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Dan & Laura

Sagamore Pendry Baltimore